Once a month, a group gathers in YourSpace at TwispWorks for a simple meal and then practices something most of us were never explicitly taught — how to identify what we actually want, how to ask for it, how to say no, and how to really hear someone else.
The classes are led by Scott Davidson and Easton Branam, who are co- facilitating monthly drop-in workshops built around a framework called the Wheel of Consent, developed by Dr. Betty Martin. Despite the connotations of the name, the work isn’t primarily about sex. It’s about the much broader skill of noticing what you want, asking for it directly, and responding honestly to other people’s requests — skills that show up in interactions at work, at the doctor’s office, and at home.
Learning about the program even reminded me of taking horse riding lessons as a young adult, and realizing that I needed to be fully aware of what I wanted to do before I could effectively lead a horse.
Dr. Betty Martin was a chiropractor who developed the Wheel of Consent after noticing how often her clients just went along with what she did to them, even when it wasn’t what they wanted. Over the years, she identified that any interaction between two people can be divided into who is doing and who it’s for, forming the central concept of the Wheel.
“It’s really a whole collection of practices, ways of asking for things, and responding more authentically to somebody else’s requests,” Scott said. The wheel is about agency — how it feels to say yes, how it feels to say no, and the lifelong work of navigating the agreements we make with integrity.
Both facilitators see the work as for everyone, though they come at it from different angles. “Given my lived experience, it’s very political,” said Easton. “I’m interested in how the understanding of ‘consent as acquiescence’ has caused a lot of harm in people’s understanding of sex and sexuality. I’m excited about creating a space where if you’ve been hurt, or you’re stuck, it’s going to give you the tools so you can heal and find growth.”
Scott’s interest leans more toward parents, fathers, and the culture children grow up in. He notes that men are underrepresented in the classes so far, and wonders whether the word “consent” itself is part of the barrier.
“A lot of guys might think, ‘I get it, no means no, I don’t need a consent class to learn that,’” said Scott, musing about how calling it the Wheel of Agreement, Choices, or Empowerment instead might increase appeal. Easton pointed out that when men do show up, the impact for them is just as significant as it is for women.
Easton said attendees don’t need a particular political leaning to get something out of the workshops. “I think it’s for anyone who has ever had their boundaries crossed, in big or small ways,” she said. Having both of them as co- facilitators offers a wider range of perspectives, something they hope will draw more queer participants as well as straight men. Easton said she “would love it to be teenagers all the way up to 100-year-olds, and all gender expressions.”
The monthly classes are designed as drop-ins, with no obligation to attend a full series. Each session stands on its own, but Easton and Scott recommend attending several to get a fuller picture. Sessions run about two hours, on a sliding scale of $5-$35, with a simple meal offered right before class starts. The next class is scheduled for Thursday, Sept. 3. Doors open at 4:45 p.m. for supper, and class starts at 5:20 p.m. For more information and to sign up, visit www.scottfdavidson.com/somatic-consent.
