Yesterday I ate six popsicles and not much else because eating six popsicles is time consuming and also filling. I didn’t set out to eat six popsicles because who does that, but I was on a roll and besides I read there was a recall on these particular ones so I needed a way to get rid of them. Can’t have possibly contaminated food just lying around the house.
In the old days if there was a recall on something, like say string cheese, I would not only toss out the string cheese but also the cheddar, the parmesan, the Cheetos, the kite string and all my shoe strings.
You can learn everything except the elevation from the elevation sign at Washington Pass.
That was back when I assumed I had a lot of years left to live and didn’t want to do anything that might take them away. Those days are gone. Plus I’m not about to let the government or the fake news tell me how to live my life. Those popsicles were expensive and I didn’t want to let perfectly good or nearly good or simply very bad but expensive food go to waste, and not just because of the expense but also because there are children starving in Africa and I want to do my part by eating six bad popsicles. It’s my way of giving back.
Not that it’s any of your business, but I’ve decided not to buy a hat.
In other, equally important news and also as a public service you should know there is still time and space to attach your meaningless sticker to what used to be the elevation sign but is now just the sign at the top of Washington Pass. I was confused by all the Little Ceasar’s stickers but I did leik the “Do you leik it?” one. I learned a lot, such as how to fish and that I’m still alive and that I should never come down. I would show you the stickers on the back of the sign but this is a family newspaper.
Maybe I’ll just steal a hat. Not from a store of course, that would be illegal, just off the top of someone’s head while they aren’t looking. Tricky, and possibly also illegal, but just typing that put me in a better mood. It’s good to have goals.
Anyway, I’d love to stick around and continue this discourse but the sky is suddenly blue today and I want to get off this couch. As soon as you’re done reading this I’m going to stand up, put shoes on, open the door, walk outside and then turn around and come back inside because it’s almost 90 degrees out there. This will be 45 seconds of achievement.
