Full transparency, I have this overwhelming feeling of gratitude gumming up the works while I take a stab at the annual Festivus tradition of the Airing of Grievances. All this gratitude is getting in the way of the spirit of the season. It’s truly annoying.
But, like any true American, I will power through this Airing of Grievances thinly veiled as first world problems and humble brags. It is tradition.
To begin the Festivus tradition of the Airing of Grievances, grab a pole. Any pole type object will do. I will be grabbing my snow shovel. Let us begin.
Left-over turkey. Abraham Lincoln declared a national holiday of thanksgiving to heal the nation after the civil war and here we are force feeding ourselves turkey for days on end, 150 years later. Turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, turkey enchiladas.
Note of gratitude: Emancipation.
Software updates. There should be a nationwide movement to schedule software updates on one day only, and then provide a full training day on the changes. Do you know how long it took me to realize Apple changed their two-sided printing to “duplex printing”? Duplex is the name of a housing unit, not a print layout. I’m still looking for the chart icon in excel. Thanks, Microsoft.
Note of gratitude: Smart people sharing the answers online.
Snow piled on moving vehicles. Nothing screams “I’ve got money to burn and places to be,” as someone balancing snowmageddon on the roof of their moving vehicle. Either they don’t understand basic traffic laws and physics, or they can afford the fine and to play insurance roulette with every other driver. Do you not own a broom, sir?
Note of gratitude: The snow levels this year.
Outdoor lights left on all night long with no covering and no regard for neighbors or nighttime ecosystems. Outdoor halogens left on 24/7 for weeks and months at time is a clear sign of, “No one is home in this building full of valuables that I do not use but wish to illuminate all night long. The electric bill matters not to me.” A downward facing light cover, motion detector, and bulb with lower lumens costs less than the yearly electric bill for one halogen light.
Note of gratitude: Methow Valley’s dark skies and the people that care to protect them.
Felonious Fussbudgets. Someone recently stole the entire package box for our neighborhood and tossed it into the creek. They then posted a sign demanding home delivery. Dear Felonious Fussbudget, you must understand two things in life. One, stealing is wrong. Two, it is a federal crime to tamper with mail delivery. That was my package box, sitting next to my mailbox, for the last decade. May you be trampled by goats and your packages forever be lost.
Note of gratitude: The Gold Creek neighbor who built a beautiful new box.
Signs. There are too many political signs blocking up the scenery, including emblems from 150 years ago. If you celebrated Thanksgiving, drop the rebel flag. We eat the turkey now.
Note of gratitude: Democracy.