On the first day of Christmas my first born gave to me,
A night of restless worries, from a tummy full of flurries.
On the second day of Christmas my second son gave to me,
Two large red tonsils and head that was fevery.
On the third day of Christmas my doggie ate a plate of fudge,
Late night at the vet, hope she doesn’t hold a grudge.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Four loads of unwashed laundry.
On the fifth day of Christmas my sister gave to me,
A list of gifts to buy from a Chinese factory.
On the sixth day of Christmas my mother gave to me,
Her opinion of the Senate inquiry.
On the seventh day of Christmas my brother bragged to me
About his new big black SUV.
On the eighth day of Christmas my mother-in-law said to me,
Try this new gluten free recipe.
On the ninth day of Christmas my friend came to me,
Hangry from being wheat, dairy, and sugar free.
On the tenth day of Christmas the UPS truck got a flat,
Our box didn’t show, oh drat!
On the ‘leventh day of Christmas, the power all went out,
At dinner we ate pickles and kraut.
On the twelfth day of Christmas we saw “A Chrismas Carol,” and
The kids laughed at Ebenezer in his underwear.
With no snow a’ falling, the children just keep brawling.
As the night draws near, more than one will shed a tear
From all the hype and merry spirit, it’s hard not to fear it.
When Christmas finally came, we wondered who to blame,
For all the cans of trash and the lack of spending cash.
But when it’s finally done, we admit to having fun
Cause even if it’s freezin’, it’s the most magical season.