By Mandi Donohue
All right, ladies, get out those pink hats — you know the ones I’m talking about — and join us this Saturday in Twisp at the Methow Valley Community Center. And men who appreciate your women strong, smart and courageous, we’ll see you there as well at 9:45 a.m. to march alongside your equals. On Saturday we’ll meet in support of all those marching across our great country for the rights and dignity of women, human rights, civil rights and social justice for all. This is guaranteed to be an energized and important time. You won’t want to miss it!
As for a different kind of movement — you sorely missed out if you weren’t in Conconully this weekend supporting our very own Carlton teams at the Conconully Outhouse Races. Both “Level 2 Evac” and “The Carlton Stool Bus” were “on a roll” representing our valley. If you haven’t ever had the opportunity “to go,” let me tell you — this event doesn’t stink!
First, there are a variety of heats: men, women, children, family and senior races. Due to the insane outhouse build-outs and costumes, these races are “a gas” in their own right, watching two runners and a rider make their way (in their own unique methodology) across the finish line, with an outhouse built on skis. The following two races, however, really make the day.
“Number two” is the Bucket Challenge, where both pushers wear a literal bucket on their head while the rider sits inside. The pushers race full speed ahead completely blind, guiding them with nothing but the rider’s voice. I’m not entirely sure where everyone got their schooling but it seemed to me that “right” and “left” do not mean the same thing to all people! This created a series of crashes, collisions and derailments that were worthy of a Monty Python sketch. Hay bales took out outhouses, racers took out fences. It was a poo-tiful disaster!
The final race is an obstacle course where the hay bales are lined up like hurdles. Each team races up to the line of hay bales, has to lift the entire outhouse over the hay bales and continue on to a tiny opening in the next series of bales. The team that successfully races through the tiny opening and across the finish line wins. You can only imagine what it looks like to watch an outhouse being lifted over a hay bale by three wackadoodles in costumes.
The “Carlton Stool Bus” won the equivalent of best outhouse and the “Krap-a-nator” won the obstacle round. Other memorable names: The Potheads, Skidmark, Conservation Crapper, The Holy Crapper, Daisy Deuce, Red Solo Cup, Ye Old Butt Hutt and American Duty.