By Ashley Lodato
Oh boy, was it ever an exciting week in Winthrop! The fun all started on Friday afternoon as I was pulling out of the Evergreen IGA (the grocery store formerly known as Red Apple) parking lot. I was in line behind a person in a truck (a two-vehicle line—what my kids refer to as a “traffic jam”), both of us waiting to turn right onto Highway 20 heading west.
Suddenly, the woman in the vehicle ahead of me jumped out of her truck and began waving her arms and running into traffic. Thankfully, traffic was light and the sight of a red-haired woman running into the middle of the road was enough to make those passing by hit their brakes.
It took me a moment, but when I realized what was happening, I jumped out of my car to help. It turns out that a little sports car was rolling leisurely out of the IGA parking lot and into the middle of Highway 20, with not only no driver at the wheel, but no one in the car at all.
And when off-duty IGA employee Deena noticed what was happening, she pursued the car on foot and managed to stop it in the passing lane in the middle of the highway by grabbing hold of the frame through the open window, bracing herself, and slowing the momentum of the car Superwoman-style before it hit the far lane. It was very impressive and quite thrilling, and most of all rather remarkable that nobody and nothing was hurt.
Hot on the heels of this awe-inspiring incident came allegations that the elections for the worst-dressed award for last week’s 1960s party may have been subject to voter fraud. In a hotly contested debate, worst-dressed award winner Ben Gilmore accused an unnamed party attendee of stuffing the ballot box. The official ballot-counting team, however, asserts that all was copacetic and that Ben won fair and square. Oh, the drama!
I’m thinking that the only reasonable way to resolve this dispute is with a duel between accuser and accused, and with ’49er Days coming up this weekend, I’ve got the perfect venue in mind. It’s not every town that allows gun fights on Main Street and I think we should take advantage of the opportunity.