Carlton-catBy SUE MISAO

Hi Carlton people, I would tell you the haps but it’s too hot and besides I just washed my windows for like the first time in about 10 years and I’m super confused because I don’t know where I am or where all those plants and things came from. I mean who knew there were flowers right outside the windows? Who even knew some of these walls were actually windows? Having suddenly clean windows is like having brand new art on your walls.

It’s hot and I’m hot just sitting here telling you how hot it is, and everything is bothersome in the heat and it’s hard to concentrate when the dog keeps wanting something but won’t say what and one kid sleeps in until noon then says it’s too hot to do the list of chores I left for him and the other one turns the most incredibly weird things on the television, finding channels I didn’t even know existed about cooking and other odd behaviors, and she doesn’t even cook, except for toast.

I guess it’s better than watching the news which is all about skin color these days. According to everyone in the world, people come in the following colors: black, white, brown, red and yellow, though nobody really says “yellow” – not because there aren’t any people who are actually yellow but probably because it seems insulting, for reasons I’ve never heard articulated. Calling a “black” person “black” is apparently not insulting even though nobody’s really black either, and calling a “white” person “white” is an outright lie. Despite being considered the race at the top of the food chain, I can’t think of anyone who would want to be the color white. The truth is all of humanity is brown, except for a few unfortunate pink people.  But nobody ever talks about the pink people.